An Open Letter To The Global Mafia

Here's a constructive suggestion for all you Skull and Bones and/or Illuminati club members who rule the world.

Since your Boy George is now so deeply unpopular and so hopelessly enmeshed in failed policies (authored by your other boy, Dick Cheney, and his dumb-ass neo-con friends), why don't you all go back to PLAN B?

That's right: John F. Kerry.

The easy way to achieve this, of course, is to "discover" some exciting "new" evidence showing that the 2004 election was rigged. You don't have to blow the whole lid off the electronic voting scam (you've worked long and hard to set that up, after all), just a few choice morsels from Kenneth Blackwell's office will suffice.

You feed the story out to the public via your mate Rupert:

"Shock! Horror! We Were Duped!"

Then you put the word out to your GOP boys in the Senate and Congress - it's time to turn or be bumped. Next thing you know, John F. Kerry is being installed as US President, while the whole team of Bush administration officials await a lengthy (and expensive - line up your lawyers) investigation. A few commisions, a little dirty laundry out on the line, but at least you guys get to keep a lid on the whole thing.

Of course, Kerry will pardon them all before he goes (Cheney will probably be dead by then anyway). We'll say they were well-intentioned patriots like Oliver North, who just got a little over-excited in response to 9/11. End of the day, a few bruised egos, another dent in the Bush family's well-pummeled reputation (time they got out of the spotlight anyway)... but all in all, not a bad plan, hey???

As for Iraq, given his record, it will be easy for Kerry to move any way you like. Personally, I suggest that the best thing would be for him to call in the United Nations. I know, I know: you guys are dead against them! But listen...

This is a global problem and we need a global solution. You boys have the contacts to pull that off. But it's also a PR problem with the world public and (despite all your best efforts) the UN brand still has a lot more pulling power with ordinary folks than the crooks you guys call friends.

So. We take the US and UK out of the game and bring in Russia, France and others. Get the Spanish back in there. Best of all, get some Muslim and Arab nations on board, so the insurgents will be working against their own interests if they don't cut the violence. Tell the world that the Iraqis are going to get their country back at last. Whatever. Let the insurgents say they "Won" (who cares, right?). Maybe make the US withdrawal conditional on peaceful deployment of UN troops. Whatever. Meanwhile you still got your guys infiltrating Syria, Jordan, Lebanon and other countries.

But here comes the crunch: you gotta let the Iraqis have some real elections. And as you all know, that might mean letting go of the oil fields.

Of course, you could get Kerry to hold on to Iraq for you. It might work. You would have to convince the US public that the war was still worth fighting. Turn up some new evidence, maybe? Given the way the whole Middle East is de-stabilising now, that shouldn't be too hard. But what's the "Exit Strategy" for Rupert's PR Department? Salvaging the USA's reputation? Making it up to the Iraq people? Well, I guess you could try it, but it would be expensive and you might end up with Kerry in just as much trouble as Bush is now.

And that's the whole problem for you guys, isn't it? Because all the attention this Iraq War debacle has generated is beginning to make you look very bad indeed. If people keep digging, they are going to keep turning up new leads, and who knows where that will end? I mean just look at Pat Fitzgerald. And have you even seen what's going on at Josh Marshall's blog, or Juan Cole's site? These guys wont be bought off easily, nor will their readers. You are going to have to throw out some juicy bones, with a bit of red meat to keep them gnawing away for a few years.

To tell the truth, I think it's time you all stepped back and took a deep breath. I mean, what's with this whole Zionist Crusade anyway? Isn't that whole idea getting a little tired? Why don't you guys re-assess your focus? If you really are obsessed about living "meaningful" lives, as you claim to be, what about spreading some "peace, love and happiness"? Now there's a revolution worth dying for.

Yours with no genuine respect whatsoever,

"gandhi"

P.S. Yes, I know I said I was done talking. But there comes a point where we all have to think about "negotiating with terrorists".