The Conga Line Of Suck-holes Keep Dancing...

OK, folks get out your barf-bags...

First it was El Busho, signing the free trade agreement with Australia (why is he signing it now, when the Australian parliament has not even agreed to it?) and praising his little Aussie mate not once, not twice but three times:

Bush began by praising "Prime Minister Howard's superb leadership", while also praising every other suck-hole within hearing distance.

Then he went for the big picture, hands-across-the-water thing:

"Prime Minister Howard and I remain committed to the success of the Doha negotiations. The United States and Australia have never been closer. We're allies in the war on terror. We're partners in the effort to help democracy take root in Afghanistan and Iraq and throughout the world. We understand that free societies will be peaceful societies. We long for peace. I appreciate Prime Minister Howard, he's a strong partner in peace. We understand that over the long-term the only way to create a safer world is to create a better world. We share a belief in the need to help others."

(That "longing for peace" bit cracks me up - of course they long for peace! All this violence is threatening their re-election campaigns!)

Finally, Bush said he was "grateful to the Prime Minister, John Howard, for his good work and his vision and his friendship."

Next day, it's Rupert Mudoch's The Australian newspapers turn to lavish praise on Howard's Foreign Minister, Alexander "Triple-chin" Downer, who is off to resolve the North Korean crisis!

The story of how Downer will bravely plunge into the heart of darkness is accompanied by helpful follow-up stories explaining "Our leading role as peacemakers" and "Tough mission, but right man"!

The latter story is a simply unbelievable piece of suck-hole journalism from Greg Sheridan. He says Downer's trip "illustrates the nonsense that Australia suffers in Asia by its close association with the US. Quite the reverse." Sheridan concludes that "Win, lose or draw, it's a highly constructive trip for Downer to undertake."

Now, how can it be constructive if we "lose"?

Hello-o-o? Any editors at work at Murdoch's The (ahem!) Australian? Or - as Margot Kingston suggests (below) are our country's political commentators all on the take?

In case all that wasn't enough to make you toss your breakfast, here's a delightful story about what a great man Douglas Feith is! Responding to criticism from General Tommy Franks that Feith is "the dumbest fucking guy on the planet", Donald Rumsfeld claims Feith is "without question one of the most brilliant individuals in government." (The scary thing is, that could actually be true!)

Rumsfeld says Feith "is just a rare talent. He is one of the intellectual leaders in the administration... He just makes an enormous contribution." Yeah, but to what? Maybe Rummy is trying to let everybody know that it's all Feith's fault, not his?