YOUR ASSIGNMENT: You are a Murdoch Press reporter assigned to cover the final day of the Earth Dialogues forum in Brisbane, Australia. Delegates, including three Nobel Peace Prize laureates, have just agreed to an idealistic 26-point action plan. For example:
"There can be no sustainable peace while the majority of the world's population lives in poverty.YOUR CHALLENGE: Turn these lofty ideals into headline-grabbing entertainment, preferably with a subtle political slant dismissing the whole thing as a waste of time and money. Remember, you must still report on the actual event. Leave the full-blown critique for the OpEds!
"There can be no sustainable peace if we fail to rise to the global challenge presented by climate change.
"There can be no sustainable peace while military spending takes precedence over human development."
SPECIAL HINT: Probe for weaknesses! Stay alert!
THE RESULT: Your headline steals the show!
Peace prize winner 'could kill' Bush.THE MONEY QUOTE: Nobel peace laureate Betty Williams displaying "a flash of her feisty Irish spirit". You even get the bit about the poor, misled children in there! Nice!
"I have a very hard time with this word 'non-violence', because I don't believe that I am non-violent," said Ms Williams, 64.THE "FAIR AND BALANCED" BIT: Nicely buried in the guts of the text:
"Right now, I would love to kill George Bush." Her young audience at the Brisbane City Hall clapped and cheered.
"I don't know how I ever got a Nobel Peace Prize, because when I see children die the anger in me is just beyond belief. It's our duty as human beings, whatever age we are, to become the protectors of human life."
"My job is to tell you their stories," Ms Williams said of a recent trip to Iraq.CONCLUSION: Fantastic! Congratulations, Annabelle McDonald!
"We went to a hospital where there were 200 children; they were beautiful, all of them, but they had cancers that the doctors couldn't even recognise. From the first Gulf War, the mothers' wombs were infected.
"As I was leaving the hospital, I said to the doctor, 'How many of these babies do you think are going to live?'
"He looked me straight in the eye and said, 'None, not one'. They needed five different kinds of medication to treat the cancers that the children had, and the embargoes laid on by the United States and the United Nations only allowed them three."