Hey Jew! Where You Going With That Gun In Your Hand?

John Safran:

HEY Jew! Sure, it was fun being part of the Tribe when it was associated with blintzes and bagels and Woody and wit. But now when your workmates spot the Star of David necklace they're thinking rubble and bombs and babies from the night before. You're kind of complicit, in their eyes at least. When they read those Mel Gibson quotes, they don't say it, but they don't entirely disagree. Cross-pollinate an '80s Afrikaner with a '90s Serb and you're not even getting close. Even Leunig hates you.

It's going to be tough sticking it out with the Zionists, so what if you want to cut loose? What do you do if you want to parachute from the zeppelin of Zion but still maintain a Jewish identity? Can you bale on Israel without baling on Judaism? Here are some non-Zionist Jewish identities for your consideration...