"BUT FIRST TONIGHT..."

The Newsweek management team who backed down on the Koran-flushing story have offered their resignations en masse after an FBI report contradicted their backdown and then Guantanamo Bay military commanders admitted that mishandling of the Koran has in fact been repeatedly used as a prisoner intimidation tactic. In their defence, the Newsweek management team said they aquiesced to White House demands for the sake of saving lives rather than defending journalistic priveleges.

In Australia, meanwhile, the entire country's media has also resigned en masse after failing to properly inform the public of the FACTS in the Shapelle Corby drug-smuggling case. Media representatives said they were overwhelmed by the emotional side of the story after receiving inducements from unknown sources.

And back in the USSA, a US soldier has admitted:

1. He went into an Iraqi's house with a private,
2. He came out,
3. He went back in again,
4. He killed an Iraqi,
5. He fired the Iraqi's pistol into a sofa,
6. He told the private to put the Iraqi's fingerprints on the pistol.

Staff Sergeant Shane Werst said he could not explain why he did this, but proudly told the judge, "I would still to this day fire on that man, sir."

The judge in the case, Colonel Theodore Dixon, did not explain why he sponteneously decided to find Werst not guilty of obstruction of justice.

Shortly thereafter, a jury of four soldiers and two officers deliberated for less than three hours before finding Sgt Werst innocent.

Elsewhere, Donald Rumsfeld said that reporting of such stories around the world was a major problem for the "War On Ahem!" He said blogs and other freaky new-age mediums were a big part of the problem. And he followed the Karl Rove Obfuscation Playbook by calling all those who oppose US Global Empire fascists and Nazis.